We’ve asked one of our connected lawfirms to come up with a list of do’s and don’ts for fathers in the process of divorce. We are happy to share this list with you.
Be with your kids
Take every opportunity to be with your kids, even if it doesn’t align with the visitation arrangements you want or your ideal schedule.
Secondly: Never sign an agreement for an arrangement that you do not want (IE: Where you can’t spend enough time with your children).
Stay in the marital home
Prior to the divorce, we guys tend to go out of the marital home to calm the situation down. DO NOT DO IT. Consult a lawyer first. When you leave the house, you might lose certain rights and most likely future time with your children.
Business Like Communication
Communicate with your ex via e-mail. Be business-like and ‘to the point’ DO NOT respond emotionally or to take the bait on (false) accusations. Limit yourself to communicate only things that are of importance for the care of the children. Ignore the rest.
Consult a lawyer on time
Don’t wait too long. Listen to your guts. When you feel things go sideways, consult a lawyer.
Choose a male lawyer
During divorce you are often faced with a female judge, registrar, opposing party, representative of child protection etc.. As the only male involved, you might feel not understood at times. Choose a male lawyer to create some balance.
Stay friends with third parties
Keep organizations such as Safe Home, Youth Care and the Child Protection Board as a friend. Prepare your conversations with your lawyer. Don’t get mad if you think the conversation isn’t headed in the right direction. Be cooperative and courteous. Don’t bother them unnecessarily with rants about your ex.